I have heard that listening is very important in communication. How can I improve my listening skills?
Listening is the first step in good communication. Speaking is the second step. According to me there are three kinds of listening. I would like to call these as three dimensions of listening.
First, there is factual dimension. At this level language is merely a statement of fact. For example, when someone informs us that it rained last weekend or that a company has increased its profits by 10 percent, we listen to statements of facts. Listening to such facts does not require much subtlety; anyone with a certain amount of attention can do that.
The second dimension of language is the intention. At this level one has to listen to more subtle intent behind what a speaker says. When a boss tells a subordinate, “I appreciate your coming to the office on time today,” she is conveying a different message from what the mere words would communicate. The subordinate who listens well reads the message as, “I do not appreciate your coming late to the office every other day”. Intentional listening requires greater attention and energy on the part of the listener.
The third and the most subtle dimension of language is the transformational dimension. Language has a certain alchemy that can transform the heart and mind of the listener. This transformation comes about in the listener through a process known as empathy. When listening is very deep, the listener is in touch with the spirit behind the speaker’s words. He listens with his heart behind his ears. The focus of the listener is not merely on the words or the intention behind them but on the raw energy of the words.
This last kind of listening is the most effective. Try it!
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