My Science School

I am a student of Class XII and my life is in mess. I used to be an above-average student, but now my standard is much lower than before. When I passed Class X, I took up science, but when I realised that I could not handle the pressure, it was already too late. As a result, I failed miserably. That whole year I suffered from depression. I could not talk to anybody, not even my parents. Whenever I tried talking to them, they were like “you are such a young boy, how could you have depression?” Mental health is taboo to the. Moreover, I was molested when I was a child, and somehow, I used to have these terrible guilt pangs that it was all my fault (which obviously didn’t help in improving the situation). But I was able to drag myself out of it and move ahead. But the Covid situation has ruined it once again. Please help.

Stigma over mental health is something we need to work on. Don’t blame yourself or feel guilty about things you cannot control. The fact that you helped yourself before demonstrates your resilience. Reflecting on how you helped yourself the last time would be very useful. This will help you understand what worked last time and use those lessons once again. I would also suggest that you contact a mental health helpline for further guidelines.

 

Credit : The Times of India

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I am a college student who is very disturbed these days. My friends are busy with work. I am left with nobody. I used to message this one friend every day, but I stopped as that irritated her. I have nothing to do. I can’t even go for a trip because of this pandemic. Earlier my life was far more happening. I didn’t care about anyone. But now everything is affecting me. I have started losing my temper too. I wasn’t like this before. Please help.

I would recommend that you start with basic exercises and also pick up a hobby. It would be useful to get in touch with old friends or relatives. There are many opportunities to learn new skills online these days. Meditation would also help manage your anger. If all this fails, seek professional help.

 

Credit : The Times of India

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I am a 19-year-old student studying outside my state, but due to this pandemic I am stuck at home and attending online classes. I do not get mental peace here – it was also one of the reasons for me to study outside. I used to suffer from depression after my sister’s suicide, but then I was okay after counselling, however, I still feel depressed and experience severe mental trauma. I do not have many friends. I want to talk to the friends that I have, but I do not feel like talking. I feel I do not matter in their lives. Please help.

This pandemic has displaced many of us. I can understand how difficult it must have been to lose someone close to you to suicide. You sought help and felt better, but the current situation is making you distressed. It would be better to seek help from your previous counsellor. I would also suggest contacting some of your close friends and trying to speak to them even if it feels difficult initially.

 

Credit : The Times Of India

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I am going through a huge financial crisis. My savings are almost nil. Since the lockdown, business is down so I have no income and expenses keep piling up. I had invested my mother’s money in a company that’s unreachable now. This is affecting my mind and body. Recently, I have developed trust issues with the people I consider close. I got married this year, and with the increased responsibility, I feel I am not living up to expectations. If I speak about this to my mom or wife, then they would also be stressed. Please hemp me come out of this.

This has been an extremely difficult time for all. Let me reassure you that you are not the only one going through such troubles. Sharing your worries with your wife and/or mother will help find solutions. If your stress is severe enough to make you feel constantly low and causing sleep or appetite disturbance, it would be useful to contact a mental health professional.

 

Credit : The Times Of India

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I’m in love with my brother’s best friend; I’m just crazy about him. But he considers me as his sister. What should I do? Should I tell him that I love him?

Looks like you have very strong feelings for your brother’s best friend and are in a rush to tell your crush that you are crazy about him.

If he considers you as his sister – it is either because he doesn’t have feelings for you or because of his friendship with your brother. If it is the former, then those feelings can’t miraculously appear.

On your part, how well do you know this boy? Are you friends, too? Or it is just a ‘hi’ and ‘bye’ relationship? What makes you sure he considers you as his sister? If you don’t yet know him well enough, then being friends with him is the first step to take. As regards your brother, have you spoken to him about your feelings? What are his views? Will he be upset?

If you want to respect your brother’s friendship and yet find out whether he will change his mind, then focus on friendship. If he still sees you as a sister, then you can move on without embarrassment and spoilt relationships. If he begins to see you in a different light, and the relationship works out, more joy to you.

 

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In recent days my father and mother are in depression due to financial problems and frequently fight with each other. My brother and I get worried and blame each other for the troubles. How can I stop these fights and bring my family together?

You are understandably worried about your parents – their frequent fights due to financial problems make you quite tense. It is unclear why you and your brother ‘blame each other for the troubles’, but instead of playing the blame game, help your family to take positive steps to find solutions to the problem.

Empathize with your parents and appreciate them – tell them that you know that it must be a difficult time for them and that they are worried about how to manage, especially to provide a good life for you both. Then suggest that you can have a discussion and agree to the different ways in which the family can reduce expenses. Also encourage your parents to think of different ways in which they can generate more income. As youngsters, you too may have new ideas to share.

Det aside family time: Pray together, eat together and share simply joys despite hardships. Most of all, as a family build hope and express gratitude for what you have received and are still to receive.

If you still think that they are depressed and unable to help themselves, encourage them to seek help from a professional counsellor: now, there are several helplines available.

 

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I am a student of Class 12. I have a problem in my study. Earlier when I used to get bad marks in exams it really affected me and gave me the will to study harder. But no matter how much time I put into studying I was still not improving which eventually turned me into a person who is hardly affected by marks and is not taking my studies seriously. While trying to improve myself in studies my whole life I never really indulged in other activities much, so I don’t have other talents. I want to change myself, but how?

You sound so very discouraged and have almost given up on yourself. But I am glad you said, ‘I want to change myself’. However, you don’t need to change yourself; instead you need to change how you learn.

By ‘studying hard’ I assume everyone means to cram for many hours to try to remember stuff. How about doing it differently? Study smart instead.

Effective study involves being able to actively recall what you have learned. So, a) Clarify all doubts and understand the topic, b) Transfer information from one form to another form which suits you, e.g., listen to a lecture and take notes or draw visuals/diagrams; Audio record key points and play it back later. Make studies fun: You can make a comic strip, study memes and more!, c) Actively recall by writing, reciting (you can do this even while dancing, tossing a ball, etc.), drawing, and most importantly doing a mock test – and what you don’t know, revise it again.

Also, study according to your brain’s needs: Study with focus for 25-minutes at a stretch, followed by a ‘reward break’ where you do something relaxing and creative. If you do this daily, then 2-3 hours a day is sufficient. Revise topics that you have already learned at regular intervals, instead of studying them just once. The rest of the time, develop a hobby/talent and also relax – it is equally important. Good luck!

 

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A girl in my class always creates a misunderstanding between me and my best friend. My friend trusts her blindly and fights with me for nothing. I can’t do without talking to my friend and I find this situation unbearable.

Looks like you feel really helpless and annoyed when your best friend blindly trusts the other girl in your class, and fights with you. If it takes such little effort to make her fight with you, then it is obvious that she doesn’t exactly trust you – and trust is the foundation of friendship. In that case, it seems that you consider her your best friend more than she considers you her best friend.

If this friendship means so much to you, then it is important to have a frank conversation with her and understand what triggers her to fight with you. Let her know that it hurts you when she does this. If she does care about you, the mutually decide what action either of you can takr if someone tries to create misunderstanding between you both – perhaps you can check with each other before drawing conclusions or taking action. If she doesn’t agree to participate, or change her responses, then I’m afraid you better of finding new friends who trust you as much as you trust them!

 

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