My Science School

I’m in Class IX. I easily get distracted by my mobile phone, and as a result, my homework remains incomplete. How do I handle this?

You are capable of doing well in your studies. You have identified the factors affecting your work. Mobile phones, television, social media etc. Must be used only to keep yourself connected with society. They should not take control of your activities. If you have the determination, you can control your usage. Fix your goal and aim to achieve your best. It is healthy to set your own targets to avoid anxiety and stress. To reduce distractions, the most important thing is to plan work – make time for everything. Allot time for television and mobile phone. Keep your mobile phone away from the place of your study.

Self-discipline is very important. Visualise your goal, and imagine how would feel when you accomplish that goal. This will motivate you.

 

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I am in Class X. My problem is that my parents fight quite frequently. I fear these fights are going to affect my Board examinations. Please help me.

For every student, a calm and comfortable environment to face examinations, especially the Boards, is important. Although the reasons for the fights and disturbances in your family are not clear, at this juncture it is necessary for you to stay focussed and do your best. It is not easy to manage your emotions when there is so much of disturbance. If you have not communicated your feelings to your parents, have an open conversation with them. Do not get involved in their conflicts but inform them that you are getting disturbed. Be clear on your goals. Visualise yourself doing well in your examinations and see how you feel. This will motivate you to prepare well. Do not study in a place with any disturbance. Choose a place and time to study better. Do your best and do not give up.

 

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I’m in Class X and I’m the school captain. I am fun-loving person. But after becoming the school captain, I have not been able to have fun with my friends. Since I must ensure that students follow rules, my friends have begun telling me I’ve changed. I want to spend my time studying and having fun with my friends. Please help me come out of this problem.

 It’s a challenge to balance fun and responsibility. It is a learning process and very essential as you grow up to become a leader. We play different roles at different phases of our lives. Everyone has their individuality and we need not give up on our self to fit the role. We have to learn to make the shift. It will be a challenge initially but when you are able to make the shift, you will be able to manage it without much difficulty. It is not necessary to compromise on the time you have with your friends. At the same time, you also seem to have the capability to be the school captain. Be clear on your roles. Do not confuse your duties with your fun time. Cordial communication can help you manage the role and also focus on your studies. There is a time for everything and take a positive approach to deal with it. When there are additional responsibilities, you must manage your time effectively. Prioritise your work and avoid procrastination.

 

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I am in Class X. My Boards are approaching, and I’m facing a huge problem. I like a boy in my class. I confided in my friends about my feelings. But, somehow, a few other classmates came to know of this and started teasing me about this. I tried to convince them it was not true. But the boy stopped talking to me and is trying to avoid me. I am disheartened. The friendship between us is gone. I feel bad. What should I do? Also, I am intimidated by students who are popular. I shy away from speaking with them. I’m a boring friend to many, I wish to change.

In your teens, getting attracted to others is very natural and you need not feel bad about it. What is important is that you take care not to lose your focus because of such distractions. The teasing is just a passing phase. Do not take it seriously. Have an open conversation with the boy and help him understand your feelings. Make an attempt and do not worry much about it. Stay calm and do not over-react. Do not feel inferior to anyone. Each of us has our own strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your strengths. It is good that you want to change. Self-motivation is very important to make a positive people. To be part of groups, you should have common interests. It is okay to be flexible and accommodative so long as you are not compromising on your principles and values.

 

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I’m in Class X, and my Boards are nearing. I have been doing my best for my examinations, but I do not see satisfying scores in Maths. Though I prepare well, I get very tensed and confused while writing the examination. How can I overcome this?

Examinations are important, especially in Classes X and XII. To do well in your examinations, you need to be relaxed and confident. Although you are well-prepared, fear pulls your confidence down and contributes to your bad performance. Do not study till the last minute. Practise sample papers and sit for model examinations to develop confidence. Do not worry about the results. Visualise model examinations as the Boards. It will help build confidence and reduce anxiety. Take time to find out where you are going wrong and initiate steps to not repeat the mistakes. Practise breathing exercise and meditate for a few minutes every day to stay calm and focussed. Remember that these are among the few examinations in your life. A healthy diet, regular physical exercise and good sleep are every important. Self-motivation and hard work will help you do your best.

 

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I’m in Class VII. First, let me tell you about my school. There are these so-called “gangs” – people with a “crush” on others – and then the “normal” people who hate these things. I belong to the latter category. This year, my best friend and I ended up in different sections. So people from the “gangs” took her in, even though she didn’t want to. The gangs spread rumours that a boy liked my best friend. She didn’t care about it until that boy actually told her he was interested in her. I have been sad ever since. Please do help me. I don’t know what to do.

You are in your adolescence and this is the stage when you understand and explore relationships and develop friendships. Be mindful of the situation. Understand your feelings and emotions. Introspect as to why you are upset. What is your friend’s reaction? Are you feeling intimidated? Are you being possessive about your friend? Do not develop the fear of losing your friend. Do not develop the fear of losing your friend. Have an open conversation with her. It is a transition stage and do not hesitate to seek help from trusted people. Be focussed. Be open to making new friends. Develop hobbies and ways to keep your mind and body fit. Do exercise and have a proper diet.

 

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I’m in Class IX. The problem is I am too distracted by mobile phone that I cannot concentrate on my studies. I am trying to distract myself by studying, drawing, reading books etc. But after a few minutes, my mind automatically goes back to the phone. I am worried about my future. Please help me get out of this addiction.

I appreciate your keenness to change your habit. In order to avoid your distractions, it is essential to take control of your actions. Instead of totally avoiding the use of mobile phone, develop the self-discipline to use it sparingly. Make rules about using it. Fix your goal and work towards it. Appreciate yourself whenever you make progress. Self-appreciation helps you get motivated. Do not allow yourself easy access to your mobile phone; keep it away from your place of study. You could even switch it on only for a few minutes every day. Avoid installing unnecessary apps. Do not force yourself to this change; rather enjoy the process. Visualise the good results you will achieve when you meet your goals – this will help you be motivated.

 

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I am in Class VIII. I am good academically and I am also very serious all the time. Even if one of my friends tries a prank on me or teases me. I take it very seriously and threaten them that I would complain to the teacher. Even my parents have told me that this is my childhood and that I should have fun. I want to, but because of my behaviour, nobody wants to talk to me. I am also scared that if I change my behaviour in any way, it would affect my academics. Please help me change my behaviour without it affecting my academics and to get my friends back.

You seem to an excellent student. Do not fear losing friends because of the change in your behaviour. In fact, when you are in good terms with your friends, your relationship will improve and you will be happy. Your academics will not get affected as long as you do not lose your focus. Teasing for fun can be taken in the right spirit as long as it is not abusive. Being over-sensitive even for small things will irritate others and will also give room for more such situations.

Here are a few suggestions to handle your sensitive nature:

• Self-comparison: Love yourself and be clear about yourself


• Mindfulness: Being aware of the situation is very helpful.


• Acceptance: Be open and accept the situation. By doing this you become resilient.


• Perspective: Do not judge situations. Look at it from different perspectives without being narrow-minded. This will help you think with a positive attitude.


• Daily journaling: Write down your feelings every day to help you manage your emotions. You will meet people with different cultures and lifestyles. Be clear on your values and limitations. Learn to be firm yet flexible. It is natural to have such feelings, but we must take steps to manage them properly.

 

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I’m a Class IX student. I’m friends with a girl, but many seem to think we’re in a relationship. What can I do? Please help me.

Friends play a very important role in your life. During your teenage years, you become close to your friends, irrespective of your gender. What is important is the way you develop friendships and be clear on your boundaries. You are the best judge of your behaviour. Whenever comments are passed, just introspect if you have created the opportunity for those comments and avoid it the next time. It is a also phase when you explore relationships. Learn to manage your emotions in a healthy manner. To develop social sensitivity is also very important. Being over sensitive is not good.

 

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All my friends receive a lot of pocket money, but my parents are very strict and question me when I ask for money. How can I always expect my friends to spend for me? Though they are good, and willingly contribute for me, there is this one boy who keeps calling me kanjoos (miser). How do I handle this?

Money can be a sensitive and personal issue for many. The concept of pocket money is to help you learn how to manage your money and be aware of your boundaries. Every family has its own boundaries and it might not be healthy to compare and value friendship based on anyone’s pocket money. I agree that it can make you feel uncomfortable when friends keep spending for you. Never forget that crossing boundaries will create problems in any relationship. Your parents could be concerned about the way you spend money since they have their own limits. Although your friends are ready to spend for you, it is not good to entertain it always or get carried away by it. Never get exploited, and be open in your communication with your friends.

 

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I’m in Class VIII and I’m very good at studies. I’m part of the Under-14 table tennis team and I also participate in all the dance programmes at school. I don’t have any friends and they say I’m a nerd and that I don’t know anything other than studying. What should I do to gain their trust and friendship?

Appreciate your talent in sports, dance and academics. You are a multi-faceted person. In spite of your talent and performance in various fields, it is not clear why your friends call you a nerd. It does hurt when you do not have friends. Sometimes, the way we behave and communicate with friends could affect our relationship. Take time to analyse your behavior. Have an open discussion with your friends to find out why they feel so about you. To gain trust, it is important to make them understand that you care for them and also show it in your actions. Be open to changes for developing trust among friends. Also remember not to lose your self-esteem to gain their confidence. Be ready to listen and also respect each person’s interest.

 

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I’m a student of Class X. I want to impress one person in particular. I strive hard to excel in all the competitive examinations. But I’m not able to top even my class. Even though I try very hard and also know how to solve the problems, I get tensed easily during the examinations. And I’m not able complete them in the allotted time. What can I do?

Appreciate your hardwork and interest to perform well in your examinations. When you think of impressing someone, a lot of anxiety develops and this could create unnecessary tension during examinations. Remember to fix goals to satisfy your needs and not others’.

Here are a few tips to reduce your anxiety during examinations.

• Plan your study: Effective planning is very important to do so well in examinations. Regular study with proper breaks will help reduce last-minute preparation and resultant anxiety.


• Diet, exercise and sleep: A balanced diet along with any physical activity to keep your mind and body fit are much needed. At least six hours of sound sleep too is necessary.


• Positive thoughts: Our mind and brain work the way we think. When you think positively, it will also help you be more rational. When unwanted thoughts pop up, simply break the cycle and direct your mind to focus on what you must be doing.


• During examinations: Be relaxed. Do not panic about the results. Start writing the examination calmly. A few seconds of deep breathing will help you stay focused. When you are struggling with an answer, do not panic. A few seconds of break will help you recharge your mind. Instead of wasting time on the answer you do not know, move on to the ones you know. All the best!

 

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I am in Class X. I have a lot of distractions due to constant use of social media. I am trying to get out of it, but I’m unable to. I also have crush on my senior who likes me a lot. Because of all these, I can’t concentrate on my studies. Please help.

During your adolescence, it is natural to have distractions and attractions. There is a time for everything. Now, prioritizing your work is very important. You have to think of your goals and visualize them. Set aside a specific time for social media. Remove unnecessary apps from your phone. Keep your mobile phone and other gadgets out of immediate reach when you have work. Take short breaks while studying. Stretch yourself. Listen to good music, go for a walk, take up small domestic chores or play some sport. Appreciate yourself when you make progress.

 

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