My Science School

When you go outside on a pleasant day, you may feel thrilled to breathe the air and enjoy the freshness of nature. Likewise, when something is a breath of fresh air, you receive the same excited feeling from being around it as you do when you step outside into a fresh breeze.

When something is a breath of fresh air, you enjoy it greatly. It is new, thrilling, and invigorating to you.

This idiom comes from two idioms widely used before the 1800s. The two idioms from where is originates are breath of heaven and breath of spring, both of which mean the same thing.

First, people often use this phrase to describe their joy when they are in a great mood. Second, people use this phrase to describe the need for something new when in a bad situation.

 

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While it may sound easy, writing humour is not the easiest thing to do. Things that sound funny when you are saying them suddenly fall flat when you put them across in writing, jokes get lose in between long sentences, and soon you will have readers who are wondering what you are trying to say rather than rolling over the floor laughing.

On the other hand, humour done well is an amazing tool to engage your reader. So the question is how do you write a humorous piece?

Topic

Begin with a topic that can be handled in about a paragraph or two rather than start off on an entire story or a full-length essay. For example, take off with a prompt that goes. “That’s the way we do it around here!” or “My dad was at his embarrassing best”. Now think of a possible character in your head who could be saying any of these two sentences. Why do you think this person/ animal/ object is saying it? What is the situation that has built up to this sentence? That’s what will define your funny lines.

A funny title

The title certainly gives a glimpse into what the content is like. So making it as funny as possible is a definite thumbs-up. One of the techniques for this is to use the title of an existing book or film or song. What’s the catch? It has to be really popular, especially among the audience who is going to read your work. If you have to explain how your title is linked to the other work, then, it kills the purpose. For example, the Dr. Seuss book “I Can Read With My Eyes Shut” can be twisted to “I Can’t Do This Even With My Eyes Open” for your first prompt. The title of the show “How I Met Your Mother” can be changed to “How I Met My (Embarrassing) Father” for the second prompt.

Twisting is great

While on the subject of twisting, you can use it for proverbs or idioms too. “The early bird catches the worm” can be made humorous by saying either “Being the early bird is okay but dare not be the early worm – you are sure to be eaten!” or “The early bird catches.... a nasty cold if it’s freezing outside!” The key to humour that readers enjoy is to not let them predict what will come next. While their brain readies to read something familiar, surprise them with an absolutely different thing. A good way to practise this is to meddle them during your free time. Take a handful of proverbs and work them around.

Using humour strategically

Rationing your humour is very important. You can’t do the same trick over and over again. Use humour in different styles while writing. You saw how we used it in the title. We could also use it in creating bullet points, for instance listing out. “Ways To Survive An Embarrassing Pet” or “How To Not Stick Out Like A Sore Thumb”. You can use it as side notes to the self or the reader, when you take a break from telling your anecdote or the story. You could even add an actual joke! But make sure your writing is crisp, not long-winded. Can you think up some other ways in which you would like to use humour?

Self-deprecating humour

Laughing at oneself is an art. Oscar Wilde wrote, “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” It’s short. It’s funny. And it says with you. Create characters that can be laughed at. Put yourself in the story and create funny situations. Check this out: “I have knack of walking into glass doors, I have done it at least 37 times (at last count) and now I am a pro at it.”

Do you have any such quirks that you could convert into humour? Bringing on the funnies is an exercise that requires a lot of work, and constant practice.

 

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Most people will agree that English is relatively easy to learn. Its grammar is not very complicated, and once you know the various parts of speech and how they are placed in a sentence, you can write without errors.

Yes, pronunciation of English words can lead us to embarrassing situations, and if you are talking to someone from the United States, you may feel that you and your listener are speaking in different languages – but you can communicate and write without making any mistakes.

But there’s one area where we may slip up – and that it is in choosing the right words to convey our meaning. This may (a) lead to confusion in the reader, if you are writing and (b) lead to misunderstandings with listeners if you are talking.

Check these words out

Grammar writers have been putting together pairs of words – some are similar sounding, some are not – that we often misunderstand. These have been referred to as “pairs of confusables” because we seem to go wrong and interchange these words in our writing.

One example is how we use “for” and “since”.

“Since” is used to denote the period of action from a particular time/day/week/month/year.

Since (from the time) he became the principal, Mr. Lal has been living in the school campus.

Mr. Lal has been living on the campus for a long time (over a period of time).

“Since” starts the action from a particular point of time. “For” stand for an indefinite period of time.

I have not seen him since he returned from Africa. I have not seen him for a long time.

Wrong: I have not seen him “since a long time.”

Here is a list of confusables. Try and understand how they are used!

Ton & tonne

Ton: A unit of weight equal to 2000 pounds.

Example: the stone weighted a ton.

Tonne: A metric ton

Effect & affect

Effect: (noun) result, outcome

Example: His teacher’s words in the remote school had a great effect on the boy.

Affect: (verb) influence, change

The monsoon rains affected the crops badly.

Adopt & adapt

Adopt: take on, accept

Example: The kind man adopted all the stray dogs in the area.

Adapt: get used to, adjust

Example: The village boy had to adapt to life in the city.

Weather & whether

Weather: climate (cloudy, sunny, cold)

Example: Weather conditions were cloudy when we set out.

Whether: a word used to show choice

Example: Whether you come or not, we will go on the picnic.

Remain & remind

Remain: stay, left

Example: The weather remains the same throughout the year.

Remind: to speak again of something

Example: Please remind me of the meeting.

Lose & loose

Lose: not able to find

Example: The tourists lost their way in the forest.

Loose: slack, opposite of tight

Example: The yoga teacher asked us to wear loose clothes for the class.

Pier & peer

Pier: a platform in the sea

Example: The boat was tied to the pier.

Peer: to look closely

Example: The thief peered into the darkness of the house.

Resign & re-sign

Resign: quitting one’s job. It is pronounced with “z”

Example: The chairman of the company resigned when he was elected to Parliament.

Re-sign: with the hyphen: to sign a contract again. The “s” here is pronounced as “s”, and you stress the first syllable “re”.

Example: Mr. Lal re-signed the contract for AC maintenance.

Advice & advise

Advice: a noun it stands for well-meaning suggestion.

Example: The principal gave important advice on the first day of school.

Advise: This too is well-meaning advice, but used as a verb.

Example: The doctor advised the patient to go for walks every day. The word “advise” is used in the past tense.

Compliment & complement

Compliment: saying something nice about someone. The word id used as a noun and a verb.

Example: He was warmly complimented by the audience for his brilliant speech. He accepted the compliments gracefully and thanked them.

Complement: two things that go well together or complete each other.

Example: His height complements his aggressive style of playing.

Salt and sugar complement most Indian cooking.

Disinterested & uninterested

Disinterested: impartial, objective

Example: It was clear that the winners were chosen by a panel of disinterested judges; they all deserved to be selected.

Uninterested: bored or not wanting to be involved with something.

Example: As the speaker droned on about his theories on life, it was clear the audience was uninterested; most of the members were found yawning.

Historic & historical

Historic: famous, important and influential

Example: While in the U.S., we visited the beach in Kitty Hawk where the Wright brothers made their historic flight.

Historical: related to history

Example: Many countries have very strict laws about preserving their historical monuments.

Further & farther

Further: is used in abstract situations to show distance.

Example: “You say that I deliberately delayed the project, nothing is further (away) from the truth. If you have any further (more) complaints please approach the boss. Do you have any further questions?”

Farther: we use this when we are talking about the physical distance.

Example: How much farther do we have to go before reaching the temple? If we drive any farther today, we will be too tired to get up tomorrow.

Hanged & hung

Hanged: to dangle someone or something from a peg/nil/rope/frame. The word “hanged”, the past tense form of “hang” is used for the deadly habit of hanging people to death.

Example: Charles the first, the King of England was overthrown and hanged in the public square.

The judge sentenced the murderer to be hanged.

Hung: dangled with the help of something.

Example: I spent all Sunday cleaning the house. I dusted the photographs and hung them in the hall.

Remember: People are hanged. Things like photographs and clothes are hung.

Addition & edition

Addition: something that is added to an already existing group.

Example: With the addition of modern jets, the army became very strong.

Coffee tastes better with the addition of sugar.

Edition: An edition is one in a series of printed material.

Example: Did you read the latest edition of the book?

 

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Ah, the “one armed bandit”! It is the name for a gambling machine that pays off according to the matching of symbols on wheels spun by a handle (the arm). “Bandit” because you lose more often than you win.

The phrase “at one fell swoop” is said by Lord Macduff in William Shakespeare’s tragedy Macbeth when he learns that Macbeth grief-stricken, utters, “What, all my pretty chickens and their dam at one fell swoop?” his phrase is a metaphor comparing Macbeth’s act to that of a hawk swooping down on defenceless prey, and fell here means “fierce, cruel, terrible.” The phrase conveys both the suddenness and fierceness of the attack as well as the helplessness of the victims.

Today the phrase “at one fell swoop” is used to mean “all at once” or “with a single concentrated effort.” The phrase can also be “in one fell swoop.”

An event or business might be said to be a “one-horse affair,” (dull), you might find yourself in a “one-horse town”, with nothing to do.

“One-trick pony” refers to someone or something that is skilled or successful in only one area (like a circus pony which has been taught one trick). In American slang, it means a person or thing that has little to offer.

The verb “one-up,” meaning “to outdo or get an advantage over (someone),” entered English in the 1960s and is a back-formation from “one-upmanship”, meaning “the art or practice of outdoing or keeping one jump ahead of a friend or a competitor.”

 

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The adjective “two-bit: owes its measuring of “cheap,” “trivial,” or “petty” (“two-bit town”) to the value of two coins. The “bit” as a coin has stood for various values over the years, but it has been generally held to be equal to 1/8 of a U.S. dollar or 12-and-a-half cents.

In the early 1900s, two cents (or two cent’ worth of opinion) came into English as a word for an opinion offered on a topic under discussion. The idea is that the person is offering a contribution that could very well be significant or valuable or could be insignificant or valueless – either way at least they contributed. It is often used like this: “Offer your two cents,” or “put your two cent’s worth.”

The idiom “in two shakes” – it goes back to the 19th century – means “very quickly or soon,” and some dictionaries connect it to the lamb’s shaking of its tail. “If you are smart, you find he really does have an uncle, and he can take you to this uncle in the office behind the ticket window, and in two shakes your ticket is in your hand – Salman Rushdie, The New Yorker, 22 July 2019.

 

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The term “three-ring circus” can literally refer to a circus with simultaneous performances in three rings. Figuratively it can denote something wild, confusing, engrossing, or entertaining. It was first introduced at the turn of the 20th Century.

Three sheets in the wind, or three sheets to the wind, used to mean "drunk," goes back to the early 19th century. The first known use in print is in British writer Pierce Egan's book Real Life in London (1821): "Old Wax and Bristles is about three sheets in the wind." The "sheets" in this expression are not bedclothes, as you might have guessed, but neither are they sails. The sheets are ropes or chains that are attached to the lower corner of a ship's sails and used to extend or shorten the sails. If you were on a three-sailed vessel and all three sheets were loose—in the wind—the boat would wallow about uncontrollably much like a staggering drunk. Old-time sailors would say that someone only slightly tipsy was "one sheet in the wind," while a rip-roaring drunk was "three sheets in the wind."

 

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The Four Freedoms are the four basic human freedoms identified by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt in his State of the Union message in January of 1941. They are the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, the freedom from want, and the freedom from fear of physical aggression. In August of 1941, Roosevelt and Winston Churchill included the Four Freedoms in the Atlantic Charter, which advocated the restoration of self-government to peoples forcibly deprived of it.

“A four-letter word” is literally a word with four letters, such as “word”. The term “four-letter-word” also indicates obscene words. This use goes back to the 19th Century.

 

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In the U.S., a store that sells inexpensive items is known as a “dollar store”, “five-and-ten-store, “five-and-dime store”. The usage goes back to the 1860s and 1880s. “Five-and-dime” became more common in the 20th century.

In the miners’ lingo, “take five” means “take a break from work,” after hours of continuous labour. “Take five” or “take ten” originated in the jargon of U.S. mining.

Five was the lucky number for the superstitious French fashion designer Gabrielle 'Coco' Chanel. In 1921 she chose the fifth day of the fifth month to introduce her new brand of perfume which she called Chanel No. 5. At that time its scent was unlike any others in a market dominated by floral perfumes. It was a huge success and today it is one of the most famous - and most expensive - perfumes available.

 

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People have been using a form of the phrase “sixes and sevens” since the 14th Century. Originally, it referred to carelessness or risk-taking, probably came from dice playing. In a game of dice, to bet on a roll of a five and a six was extremely risky and often foolish. Over time, the early phrase “to set on cinque and sice” was altered to “to set on six and seven,” and the meaning was broadened to denote not only genera carelessness but the confusion and disorder that might result from it. Later it was further altered to the modern “at sixes and sevens” with the meaning “in a state of disorder or confusion.”

“Six-pack” has referred to six bottles or cans packaged and sold together since the 1940s. In the 1990s, six-pack came to refer to a set of strong, well-defined abdominal muscles visible on a person’s body and looked like a “six-pack” of bottles of cans.

 

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The phrase “seven seas” (sail the seven seas) has been used metaphorically since the 19th Century, to evoke all the waters or oceans of the world – and specifically the Arctic, Antarctic, North and South Pacific, North and South Atlantic and Indian Oceans.

On the seven-segment displays of pocket calculators and digital watches, 7 is the number with the most common glyph variation (1, 6 and 9 also have variant glyphs). Most calculators use three line segments, but on Sharp, Casio, and a few other brands of calculators, 7 is written with four line segments because, in Japan, Korea and Taiwan 7 is written as ? in the illustration to the right.

7 is considered a lucky number. There are 7 days of the week, 7 continents, 7 Wonders of the World, as well as 7 Deadly Sins.

 

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The expression “eight ball” for the black pool ball numbered 8 is from the early 1900s, and the expression “behind the eight ball,” meaning “in a highly disadvantageous position,” entered American English. The expression may have come from a pool game in which players attempt to pocket the numbered balls in order – with the eight ball to be pocketed last. If the player hits the eight ball first, he is penalised; if he pockets the eight ball, he loses the game.

“A piece of eight” is an old Spanish silver dollar, or peso, which once had the value of eight Reales and was therefore stamped with a large figure 8. In Colonial America, the piece of eight became legal tender, and it remained so till the Civil War. Its value was almost the same as that of the United States dollar.

 

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 “On cloud none” means “a feeling of well being or elation.” It derives from the nine classes of angles in Christian cosmology. The ninth and highest class – the seraphim – are, according to one source, “one cloud nine” by virtue of their close proximity to God.

Another possible explanation connects cloud nine with Dante’s Divine Comedy. Dante’s “Paradiso” depicts a series of heavens, the highest being the ninth. The souls in the ninth heaven are in the greatest state of bliss because they are close to God.

Meteorologists classified clouds in the late 19th Century and this was officially accepted by the scientific world. Ninth in the classification is the big, puffy cumulonimbus cloud.

The expression nine days’ wonder is based on the proverbial belief that something novel retains attention for just nine days. A “nine-day wonder” is something that creates a short-lived sensation.

The expression “the whole nine yards” is used to include all of a related set of circumstances, conditions or details. Example: “A huge Thanksgiving dinner was served: turkey, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, rolls and pie – the whole nine yards.”

Why nine yards, not eight, seven or ten? A yard is a unit of measurement and the whole nine yards could be any of these: The nine cubic yard capacity of either a cement mixer or the scoop on a front-end loader, the nine yards of cloth required to make a formal dress (a full gown or a saree); the configuration of old square-rigged ships having three masts, each of which could have three yards (long spars tapered toward the ends that supported and spread the head of the square sails) – “the whole nine yards” in total.

 

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The expression “I wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole” conveys contempt or extreme dislike. Originally, a ten-foot pole was simply a measure of distance. Nineteenth-century songwriter Stephen Foster used it to describe the depth of a mud hole in his popular song “Camptown Races.” In 1884, American author William Dean Howells used the phrase metaphorically in his novel the Rise of Silas Lapham: “Do you suppose a fellow like young Corey... would touch mineral paint with a ten-inch pole?” wouldn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole” emerged around the same time.

Ten-gallon hat has been used to refer to a cowboy hat since the early 1900s. The hat like the gallon measurement, was extremely large, perhaps the largest hat in the West. Large cowboy hats became known as ten-gallon hats. Another explanation is that the wide-brimmed hats worn by cowboys and ranchers were originally decorated with braids. A Spanish word for braid is galon.

 

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I consider the learning of the subject and the predicate – the way the sentence is divided – the major need for writing without error. The subject tells you what the sentence is talking about. The predicate tells you what the subject is doing, or the subject’s state of being (I am tired). You need to know your subject and the predicate to ensure that the verb (in the predicate) matches the subject in number and tense. If your verb does not match your subject, the sentence is grammatically wrong.

Incorrect: My kitten always chase its tail. The verb “chase” does not agree with the singular subject “kitten.”

Correct: My kitten always chases its tail.

 

Determine with subject and then choose the verb to match it! If you are not sure of the number and the tense of the subject, you will end up choosing a non-matching verb.

Incorrect: A section of top leaders want Mr. Sukhu to continue in his post.

The verb should be “wants” since the subject is “section” (singular). The writer of his sentence has taken “leaders” as the subject. It is not!

So, how do I find the subject? Pick the verb and place “what” or “who” before it.

“Who” is for people and “What” is for the rest. The answer is your subject. So, who want Mr. Sukhu to continue? “A section” (not all leaders). “Section” is singular, so you have to use the singular verb “wants” to match “section.”

When you learn to identify the subject of a sentence you realize that

1. The subject need not look like a standard noun, for example, a book, boy, tree. Swimming is a good exercise. Subject: Swimming


2. The subject is not always found in the beginning of the sentence. After a long walk, he found the house. Subject: He


3. The subject is not always present in the sentence. It can be implied, understood. Please switch off the fans. Subject: You. In most command (imperative) sentences, which are addressed to people, “you” is dropped.


4. The verb is not always placed next to the subject, as in “The kite flew.”

Sentences are made where there is a group of words between the subject and the verb. “The beauty of the mountains, rivers, snow and the gardens of Kashmir overwhelmed me.”

Subject: The beauty

Verb: Overwhelmed

5. Infinitives like “to walk”, “to sit” can also be subjects. They do the work of nouns.

To err is human; to forgive is divine.

Subjects: “to err”, “to forgive.”

6. The verb need not always follow the subject as in “She completed the work before the children arrived.” Subject: She, Verb: Completed.

The verb may be placed BEFORE the subject.

There are many people in the garden. Subject: People. Verb: Are.

7. What do you do with questions? For example: What is your age? In this sentence, the subject (your age) is deliberately placed after the verb (is). First rewrite with the subject in the beginning. Your age is what? Now, separate the subject and the predicate. Your age – subject, is what – predicate. The predicate starts with the verb.


8. Sonia’s friends have all left the town. In this sentence, Sonia is not the subject. It is “Sonia’s friends.” So, pick your verb, place “what” or “whom” before it and the answer is the subject! Who have left the town? Sonia’s friends.

Predicate

A predicate is the part of a sentence, or a clause, that tells us what the subject is doing or what the subject is. In the sentence, “The man is sleeping under the tree,” the part “is sleeping under the tree” is the predicate. This part tells us what the man is doing.

Let’s take a simpler sentence. He dances. He is the subject, the doer. Dances is the verb and the predicate.

He dances at all local functions. In this sentence, He is still the subject. It does not change. But the words “at all local functions” have been added to the predicate “dances.”

How can we be sure which part is the predicate? For example, look at this sentence.

While herding cattle, he blew a whistle.

We first find the verb. The verb is the word that shows action or the state of being (is/was) and changes according to number and tense.

In this sentence, “blew” is the verb. You pick the verb in the sentence, place what or who before it and the answer is the subject, right? Then, the predicate starts with the verb.

In the sentence above, “He” is the subject (who blew? He). The predicate is, “blew a whistle while herding cattle.” We add “while herding cattle to the predicate because it points to action and has nothing to do with the subject or the doer. The subject is the “doer.”

 

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